On Leaving

1

I love writing, I love reading, and I love reading good writing. To me, that requires honest, genuine words. Not the sugar coated, life-is-amazing-all-of-the-time balogna. Especially when it comes to blogging, it’s not good enough–in my opinion–to hide behind a pleasing picture of a city view or a visually appealing salad; it’s not supposed to be a platform where you hide behind the art. It’s meant to help you share your life. And as I think about it, I like to surround myself with people that embody the traits I admire about writing, people that are honest, genuine, thoughtful, humorous, transparent, natural, etc, etc. I could go on for days. And that’s really where the name for this blog came from: “Pure Bliss.” I want it to be pure; I want it to be wholehearted and real. So here’s a little bit of the reality of my life at the moment.

Five weeks from, to the day, I will be living in Texas. There are so many thoughts and feelings and excitements and anxieties about that fact.

The excitements: WOOT WOOT I’m going to collegggge! I never thought this time would actually come, and I’m ecstatic to begin what most refer to as the “the best four years of my life.” Nothing has ever truly excited me more. I can’t wait to live on my own (sorry, mom & dad), to meet an entire new array of friends (if you’re reading this, SMU-goer, know that I’m seriously so pumped and bet you’re supa fly), to explore a city that seems absolutely so radiant (I’m comin’ for ya, Dallas!), to study something I’m passionate about (advertising, woop woop), and to look at life from a perspective I’ve never had before (living in a new region of the country). This is going to be so great; I’m beyond thrilled.

Then there are the logistical worries that are becoming borderline fears at that point. When will I get my dorm stuff? Speaking of, what do I even need to still order? How much storage stuff do I need? How will I even begin to pack my clothes (let alone organize my current room..)? When will it all come together? These are the things I know will get done eventually, but I’m a little curious about when and how they’ll all fall into place. If you know any of those answers, feel free to let me know.

And now, the hard stuff. The goodbyes. I’ve never been a fan of them. And I think that 100%, without a doubt stems from the fact that I care about the people in my life so, incredibly much. It breaks my heart a little to know we’ll have to part ways for the time being. I chose this school, though, and I’m truly excited about it (read above paragraph for support), but the fact I will have to say “see ya later” to my friends and family is starting to sink in. And a little more overwhelming than that–how will I manage to fit in time with all the people I want to see before I go?! Time isn’t exactly in surplus these days. I’m not a codependent person, and the independence of college is something I’m so looking forward to. I just wish that some things (aka relationships) could stay the same.

So that’s it. Those are the thoughts that are usually racing in my head between the hours of 12 a.m. to 12 p.m (no days off!!). I also realize, though, that I have five weeks left. Five whole weeks! That’s a decent amount of time. I don’t want to spend it being sad or putting thoughts in my head of how I think the next year will go or wasting time with loved ones. In order to really live that out, and embrace living the way I want to live, I’m starting a little video project that I’m super pumped about. I’m filming one or two seconds every day, no matter what it is I may be doing or who I’m with. I want to capture all of the people and things that are making these last weeks in Des Moines the best weeks in Des Moines. I can’t wait to share it with you at the end of the summer! Until then, there will be more updates, pictures, and of course, writing. xx

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s